When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked Him to forgive me.
Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
Sex is the price women have to pay for marriage. Marriage is the price men have to pay for sex.
I'm not attracted by a girls mind.... but by what she doesn't mind.
I went to an extremely attractive femal doctor today for my annual checkup. She told me I had to quit masturbating. I asked why? She said, "Because I'm trying to examine you."
Her job is to complain... mine is to give her a reason.
Getting married is like getting into a bath tub. After you get used to it, it aint so hot.
