Why men are never depressed !!

[Masscre]

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:
Men Are Just Happier People --
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack...
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this
one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you,
He or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough..
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives
On December 24 in 25 minutes.
___________________________________
Men Are Just Happier People
NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50.
None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends,
favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humor and can handle it .... and to the men who will enjoy reading it
 

[Banshee]

This is to be a humors response not a belittling or angry one. So please take it as such

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:
Men Are Just Happier People --
What do you expect from such simple creatures? - Women Need only to not stress so hard
Your last name stays put.Now days so do womens
The garage is all yours.Tell that to the art studio in mine
Wedding plans take care of themselves.I guess your excluding gays from being men
Chocolate is just another snack...It is so treat it like one
You can be President.women can be president
You can never be pregnant.You got me there
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.I have no problem with a girl in a wet white shirt
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.see above statement ^^^
Car mechanics tell you the truth.False. They lie to me too. They just try to make it more complicated
The world is your urinal.Buy a Hikers funnel. Lets women pee standing up.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this
one is just too icky.Sounds like you never had to use the men's room
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.Now that's insulting to women.
Same work, more pay.Bull poop Women make the same
Wrinkles add character.Right! and monkeys can fly.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.Don't pay so much.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.Well duh I don't have anything to look at.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.If you buy shoes that do that to your feet thats your fault
One mood all the time.You can do the same, you choose not to.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.Only if it is to a friend all other calls require me to say good bye at least 20 times.
You know stuff about tanks.So do women
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.That's all it should take. If you need more than one, it better have a laptop in it.
You can open all your own jars.Given some women do not develop their upper body, most women know how to open a jar with alternative methods.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.So do you. We just don't tell you it's there.
If someone forgets to invite you,
He or she can still be your friend.Why stop being friends just because of that.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.Yours can too, but it's if you choose to look sexy it will cost more.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough..Same goes for you. Don't be so slothful
You almost never have strap problems in public.No but try to figure out how to get your balls off your leg in the summer.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..Like wrinkles matter in a T-Shirt
Everything on your face stays its original color.Wrong a mans facial hair goes gray, and the skin starts to leather over time.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.Find one you like and stick with it. Don't be so vane.
You only have to shave your face and neck.True. I wont argue this point. Don't want a girl with more hair than me.
You can play with toys all your life.Whats stopping you?
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.Only a problem if you let it be one. Why do you care what others have.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.So can you. You just won't get the flirty looks you seek
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.And why is it you can not?
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.Not sure what to do with this one.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives
On December 24 in 25 minutes.Sounds like you worry to much.