ScriptUO
General => Off Topic => Jokes! => Topic started by: Masscre on February 02, 2013, 04:20:33 PM
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>>>>A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote pasture when
>>>> suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust
>>>>
>>>> The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes , RayBan
>>>> sunglasses
>>>> and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you
>>>> exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give
>>>> me a
>>>> calf?"
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully
>>>> grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"
>>>>
>>>> The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects
>>>> it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone , and surfs to a NASApage on the
>>>> Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his
>>>> location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the
>>>> area in
>>>> an
>>>> ultra-high-resolution photo.
>>>>
>>>> The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshopand exports
>>>> it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany .
>>>>
>>>> Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image
>>>> has
>>>> been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database
>>>> through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his
>>>> Blackberry and,
>>>> after a few minutes, receives a response.
>>>>
>>>> Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech,
>>>> miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You
>>>> have
>>>> exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
>>>>
>>>> "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.
>>>>
>>>> He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with
>>>> amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
>>>>
>>>> Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what
>>>> your
>>>> business is, will you give me back my calf?"
>>>>
>>>> The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why
>>>> not?"
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> "You're an aide in the Obama Administration", says Bud.
>>>>
>>>> "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
>>>>
>>>> "No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even
>>>> though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already
>>>> knew, to
>>>> a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of
>>>> equipment
>>>> trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a
>>>> thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that
>>>> matter. This is a herd of sheep. ...
>>>>
>>>> Now give me back my dog."
>>>>
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