Dear Diary,
Just moved to Oklahoma ! Now this is a state
that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings.
It is beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
June 14th:
Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a
problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned
car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning
into a sun worshipper.
June 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with western
plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No
more mowing the lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it
here.
July 10th:
The temperature hasn't been below 100 all
week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least, it's kind
of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I
expected.
July 15th:
Fell asleep by the community pool.. Got 3rd
degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb
thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in
a climate like this.
July 20th:
I missed Lomita (my cat) sneaking into the
car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car at
noon, Lomita had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag,
then popped like a water balloon. The car now smells like Kibbles and
Shits. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat. Good ol'
Mr. Sun strikes again.
July 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant
freaking blow dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner
is on the fritz and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and
tell me he needed to order parts.
July 30th:
Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3
nights now, $225,000 house and I can't even go inside. Lomita is the
lucky one. Why did I ever come here?
Aug.. 4th:
Its 115 degrees. Finally got the
air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature
down to 85. I hate this stupid state.
Aug. 8th:
If another wise ass cracks, 'Hot enough for
you today?' I'm going to strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to
work, the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I
smell like baked cat!!
Aug. 9th:
Tried to run some errands after work. Wore
shorts, and when I sat on the seats in the car, I thought my butt was
on fire. My skin melted to the seat. I lost 2 layers of
flesh and all the hair on the back of my
legs and ass . . . Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried butt, and
baked cat.
Aug 10th:
The weather report might as well be a damn
recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too
hot to do crap for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might
really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn state?
Water rationing is next, so my $1700 worth of cactus will just
dry up and blow over. Even the cactus can't live in this damn heat.
Aug. 14th:
Welcome to HELL! Temperature got to 115
today. Cactus are dead. Forgot to crack the window and blew the damn
windshield out of the car. The installer came to fix it and guess what
he asked me??? "Hot enough for you today?" My sister had to spend
$1,500 to bail me out of jail. Freaking Oklahoma . What kind of a sick
demented idiot would want to live here?? Will write later to let you
know how the trial goes.
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