ScriptUO

General => Off Topic => Jokes! => Topic started by: Masscre on April 24, 2014, 07:31:03 AM

Title: Report Card !!
Post by: Masscre on April 24, 2014, 07:31:03 AM
A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad." With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands...

"Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you.
I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.
But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.
In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!
Don't worry, Dad. I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many grandchildren.
Love, your son, Joshua.
P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on the kitchen table. Call when it is safe for me to come home!
Title: Re: Report Card !!
Post by: gimlet on April 24, 2014, 10:23:49 AM
hehehehehe
Title: Re: Report Card !!
Post by: Bookwyrm on April 24, 2014, 03:12:47 PM
Would be a very long time before that call was made. :o
Title: Re: Report Card !!
Post by: Crisis on April 24, 2014, 03:33:07 PM
That is something that I would have done. Then my parents would have called right away assuring me that all was well and to come home. At that point I would know that I was in a lot of trouble and would have started planning my escape to the next state.