My 11 yr old son's teacher...

[Cerveza]

Yesterday my 11 yr old 5th grade son was slapped on the shoulder by a teacher. Not a "Hiya" but a "SHUT UP" kind of a slap, out of anger.

It was his female computer teacher.

Beginning of class, class room is very noisy. Teacher calls for students to sit down and be quiet, they don't really respond.

My son has a question (What's a CPU) but decides NOT to shout for the teacher because the boy next to him already has loudly called for her. The teacher answers that boys question and my son says "Mrs. XXX I have a question". She SLAPS him on the shoulder and tells him to go out in the hallway till he's ready to behave.

He doesn't move, she says "Are you ready to behave"? He says yes.

He sits quietly the rest of class... then after class he goes back to his classroom and tells the substitute teaching yesterday what happened and asks if he can go to the office. She agrees.

At the office he tells the story to the substitute Dean of Students. She tells this to the Principal who comes in to hear it directly from my son. The Principal and my son then go to the Computer room to speak with the teacher. She says "I don't recall slapping him" and says "If I did then I'm sorry".

My son calls me after school so I head over to talk with the Principal. His attitude is "oh it's all over now, she apologized", my attitude is "How can you let a teacher strike a student? and if there are allegations of this happening, how can you NOT contact a parent". I can tell I'm getting no where with him.

I pick up my wife from her school and we go back to the school. It's like 4:30 and everyone's gone, BUT the main school is open for a basketball game, so we decide to see if the main Principal for both schools is available.

When we get there we see the Dean of Students and get a private room where we tell her the entire story. She says she'll speak with everyone today and get back with my. I missed her call earlier and am waiting for a call back now.

So... what do we do?

The slap wasn't hard enough to leave any type of mark, but that's not entirely the point. My son is a good student and would never make any of this up.

Now he doesn't want to go to computer class, and the Dean said he wouldn't have to if he was uncomfortable. So far she seems like the only one taking any of this serious. The Principal of the K-5 (the guy I sat down with) is a non-caring *bleep*. As of yesterday, I have 0 respect for him. "Oh well she apologized so it's ok now". And that apology - "IF I did slap him THEN I'm sorry" which is basically saying "your son is a liar and I'm covering my ass".

sux.... waiting for the callback... not even sure what we're going to do or even what we want to accomplish from this....

[Oracle]

Your Son also has witnesses to the "slapping" in the Classroom.  Someone else had to have also seen it.  Maybe the student sitting next to him or behind him.  You don't really need anymore ammunition, but it does relieve the point where it is your Son's word vs. the Teacher.  If it gets to any kind of arbitration or further discussion, then you can use that student's words too.  The Teacher should not be able to just blow it off with "I don't remember slapping him, but if I did, then I am Sorry".  Teachers need to be held accountable for their actions, more so when it is 'Negative'.  The least that I would expect if I were in your shoes is to have the Teacher apologizes directly to my Son and not blow it off as if it didn't happen!

[Cerveza]

Seemed like the school was slow balling this... I was told by the Dean of Students that she was unable to get with the teacher involved because of her class load.

I told her that sounded like a cop out. If a student struck a teacher it would be immediate, you guys didn't even bother calling me when a teacher struck my son.

The Dean just called me back and said that a meeting with her, the Dean of Students, the Principal of this school and the teacher involved was set up for Monday. I asked that the District Principal attend as well.

She said that the teacher was very upset, I said "At my son???" and she said "No, just very emotional about the whole situation". Yeah, no kidding. You hit a student and his parents aren't the type to back down. You should be upset.

My son did everything right. A teacher slapped him. He didn't make a scene and waited for class to end, then told his teacher (happened to be a sub) and asked if he could go to the office to report it to the admin.

[Endless Night]

let us know what gets resolved... ive had more than my fair share of school stories...

[Scrripty]

Something you should be throwing around with them is, "If your son told you this story, how would you react?"   Or better yet, "What if this was your child struck by his teacher?  How would you be handling this then?"  Should get a better response I would think... heh

[Cerveza]

When the Dean first called and said she was having trouble contacting the teacher I told her that it felt like they weren't taking this as serious as they needed to, and that I can't believe that the "Dean of Students" is having trouble speaking with a teacher.

She apologized and said she would definitely get with the teacher to find out what happened.

My son said that the Dean also called a couple of students in from my son's class. The one who yelled for the teacher (next to my son) and another student. The yeller didn't see anything, but the other student confirmed the teacher striking my son. The Dean didn't mention that in our conversation.

We've decided that if we get a sincere apology (by we I mean my son) from this teach, and my son feels comfortable returning to her classroom, then things are done. If the apology is a veiled half-azz'd "well I don't recall doing this but if I did", then we'll let everyone know on the spot that we intend on speaking with the school board and perhaps the state school board as well.

We'll see what happens on Monday.

[Masscre]

My aproach on tis would be humble and information getting to start off. But if you child does not feel comfortable enough to go back to the class and he does not get a humble sorry that I did hit you !! I would take it to the highest court in the land. So the teacher 1. will always remember the next time she gets angry to keep her hands to her self. Is this not what the teachers tell their students to do in class? or 2. She can maybe get a job picking trash up off the highway.

[Toptwo]

I remember the days of "corporal punishment" in the classroom..I had it dealt out to me on more then one occasion in both grade school, and jr. high. While I understand that in this case your son did not deserve a slap as he wasnt doing anything wrong, I overall just dont see a slap on the shoulder being that bad a thing. Especially not compared to a wooden paddle with holes drilled into it so it can achieve more speed as it desends.

I realize that times have changed (and NOT necessarily for the better IMHO) but back "in the day" if you had the guts to even come home and tell your parents you got a "swat" in class you would most likely get another from them, and they would call the teacher and THANK them for disiplining thier son/daughter.

Sorry cerv, not meaning any disrespect here but I believe your son is owed an appoligy for getting a slap on the shoulder when he didnt deserve it as it doesn't appear that he was in the wrong, however I dont think the actual slap deserves as much as is being put into it.

[NObama]

That's some serious stuff.  I think you ought to have your kid removed from that class.  Maybe the teacher was having a bad day, but (just like a husband) a teacher who hits once will hit again.  And again.

[Masscre]

I remember the days of "corporal punishment" in the classroom..I had it dealt out to me on more then one occasion in both grade school, and jr. high. While I understand that in this case your son did not deserve a slap as he wasnt doing anything wrong, I overall just dont see a slap on the shoulder being that bad a thing. Especially not compared to a wooden paddle with holes drilled into it so it can achieve more speed as it desends.

I realize that times have changed (and NOT necessarily for the better IMHO) but back "in the day" if you had the guts to even come home and tell your parents you got a "swat" in class you would most likely get another from them, and they would call the teacher and THANK them for disiplining thier son/daughter.

Sorry cerv, not meaning any disrespect here but I believe your son is owed an appoligy for getting a slap on the shoulder when he didnt deserve it as it doesn't appear that he was in the wrong, however I dont think the actual slap deserves as much as is being put into it.

Back to what TopTwo was saying. I do believe in corporal punishment in schools when it is deserved and I believe it should be reimplimented back into the school system, but with alot of proof and alot of checks and balances in place also. So the wrong person does not get the wrong end of the stick literally.

[Cerveza]

We'll find out her attitude on Monday.

I'm not against Corporal Punishment. This isn't Corporal Punishment. She got pissed off at the class and took it out on my son.

I'm glad he took the approach he did, it means we've taught him how to deal with a situation like this. I hate to think what *could* have happened with some other student who may have even fought back... if the teacher isn't allowed to strike a student and they do, what would happen to a student who actually struck back??

I'm really hoping for the "I am so sorry, I lost my temper and took it out on you, for that I sincerely apologize and hope that you can forgive me, it will never happen again". Because anything short of that might mean this not ending quite yet.

[Cerveza]

Got this email from the teacher involved yesterday (Saturday). The incident was on Thursday.

Dear Mr. & Mrs. ,

It is with a heavy heart that I write this email to you as yesterday I found out
that you truly believe I could intentionally hurt your child. Mr. {Principal} and Mrs.
{Dean of Students} both came to my classroom to tell me that you had taken {my son}'s
complaint all the way to the Superintendent.

As a parent myself, I understand the desire to protect your children when you
think they have been unfairly treated. However, I wonder how much of my side was
considered when your family accused me of hitting {my son}. This accusation became
a knife in my heart on Thursday, and then knowledge of your discussion with Mrs.
{Dean of Students} twisted it. The pain I felt was great and I tried on three different
occasions to explain to Mr. {Principal} and Mrs. {Dean of Students} that I couldn't possibly deal
with the situation on Friday. Each time, they left me in tears.

I was told that they think all you wanted was for me to apologize to {my son}, and
I stated that I had already apologized to him and explained that IF I had truly
hit him, it was an accident. My hand was between him and another student and
when I stepped back there is a good chance that my hand hit his shoulder.

As a teacher, I am going to stand up for myself. I will not apologize for this
incident again. What I will apologize for is that {my son} felt that he could not
come to me at the time of the incident and tell me that I had hurt him. I see
now I should have followed through with my initial intent to send him into the
hall so that we could talk about his behavior. He was speaking out of turn in a
loud manner and that is why the incident is so vivid in my mind. I had just
corrected his behavior as well as the behavior of the whole class.

His class had come into the room in a very noisy manner, and I had been told by
the substitute that she had had a bad morning. Since I had several directions to
get through in order to complete the assignment, I needed them to quiet down and
listen. As you already know, I am not only teaching Mrs. {other teacher} class at
this time. Mrs. {other teacher} class comes with them as well. This means I have 26
students in the classroom and 3 adults. Several of these students make teaching
on a good day difficult. I am happy to say, {my son} is not one of them.

Eventually, the class did settle down, and we were able to finish the assignment
successfully. I remember {my son} working and at one point he asked Mrs. {other teacher}
for help. I can't help but wonder if he told Mrs. {other teacher} that I had hit him? If
he had, I am sure we could have addressed the situation right then and there.

When I dismissed the class, I did give them a star, not for the way they came
into the room, but for the way they had finally gotten to work. I understand
what it is like to have a substitute and how sometimes this will affect
behaviors outside of the classroom.

Imagine my surprise when Mr. {Principal} brings {my son} into my room, so that he can
accuse me of hitting him. It makes no sense to me why he would have waited 30-40
minutes to tell me if I had done this. He made no complaint in my room of being
hurt. He didn't request to go to the nurse for an ice pack. However I listened
to the complaint and walked myself through the incident, and came to the
conclusion that I must have accidentally hit him and for that, I apologized.

I truly think this incident has been taken out of context. I apologize for that.
I don't know why you didn't come directly to me before going to Mr. {Superintendent}. You
may have tried and found that I wasn't there. I attend class on Tues. & Thurs.
at 4:00, so I have to leave at 3:30 on those days. However, I am easily
assessable via email, or you could have waited until Friday morning.

Finally, I will apologize to the administration, for refusing to address the
situation in a timely fashion. I needed the night to pray about this, to ask
others to pray about it, and to get advice from my husband.

My life speaks for itself. If you have been on the computer lab website and have
read my biography, you will know that I have a passion for teaching that started
at a young age. I pride myself in this. In fact, next to the doorway in my
classroom, I have a plaque that states simply, "A hundred years from now, it
will not matter what kind of car I drove, what kind of house I lived in, how
much money I had in the bank...but the world may be a better place because I
made a difference in the life of a child." I want to make a difference in every
child's life including {my son}'s.

I know that I am a misunderstood teacher at {school}. Maybe that is why this
has gotten out of hand. Hopefully though, you can now understand me a little
better now.

Sincerely,

[TrailMyx]

Really not too bad.  Nothing like "yeh, but...." to piss me off.  Are you better with it?

[gimlet]

I guess it's not for me to say - but I think I would now drop this if I were you but only for one reason. The reason is that it will probably have a very negative impact on your son (unless you plan to move). Teachers talk among themselves and  it may have other impacts down the road that you might never see. My wife is a teacher, I am a professor and I have two boys (now grown - 1 captain in the army the other a professor) from this background I can assure you that every time I fought the school system (and won) my sons somehow suffered down the road. Not that it ever stopped me if I thought I was right. But as my Dad used to say to me " AJ - never hang yourself on a small cross"

[Cerveza]

I guess it all boils down to her attitude in the meeting. If she still contends that she doesn't think she struck my son, then we'll mention "school board", "state board of education", "letter to the editor"....

The way her email sounds shes all "oh poor me". I can't say I feel any better after reading that.