Author Topic: Hi. This is an intro. Because I have to. Now, love me.  (Read 7090 times)

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Offline FluwtonTopic starter

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Hi. This is an intro. Because I have to. Now, love me.
« on: May 08, 2014, 01:12:59 PM »
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Hi.

So...  Uh, an intro, huh?

Lessee.  I've been playing UO since Pub16.

I don't script, exploit, or cheat for personal gain.
I do enjoy using legitimate game mechanics in such a combination that people believe it must be a cheat or exploit.

I also enjoy understanding the cheats and exploits for what they reveal of the behind the scenes interactions.

I'm not opposed to people using cheats or exploits, until such a time as it has an immediate, unavoidable impact on my enjoyment.
Give your mount a name that'll crash the client and use it to screw with guildmates in your house?  Awesome.
Give your mount a name that'll crash the client and use it to win at PvP?  Well, now you're just being stupid....

And so forth.

Hi.

Offline SolidSnake

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Re: Hi. This is an intro. Because I have to. Now, love me.
« Reply #1 on: May 08, 2014, 02:03:00 PM »
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Please review the stickied posts here.

It will give you an idea about the intro requirements we look for here. These people have spent countless hours building these scripts throughout the last decade or so. A good intro is a very reasonable request to share in all that work :)

Offline TrailMyx

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Re: Hi. This is an intro. Because I have to. Now, love me.
« Reply #2 on: May 08, 2014, 06:42:25 PM »
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Gimlet and Newsman live for those kinds of things.  Do you play for the fun of it, or do you just tweak the mechanics until they whimper?  I wonder if anyone does that kinda of focused exploit investigation for freeshards?  I never hear of anything like that.
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Offline FluwtonTopic starter

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Re: Hi. This is an intro. Because I have to. Now, love me.
« Reply #3 on: May 09, 2014, 07:48:28 AM »
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These people have spent countless hours building these scripts throughout the last decade or so. A good intro is a very reasonable request to share in all that work :)
Indeed, that would be a reasonable request.  At the time of my posting though, I was just trying to PM gimlet to provide information on a (minimally) possible exploit and assumed I needed to introduce myself before I could PM.  I will never use one of these scripts though I may contribute on minor points of them in the future.  As a special and unique snowflake, I believed this entitled me to cheap out on my introduction.

But if you insist, I will tell you a little bit about myself.

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.


My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, born and raised. Luge lessons were where I spent most of my days. When I was chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool  I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve a couple of guys who were up to no good started making trouble in my neighbourhood. At the age of fourteen I got in one little fight and my mom got scared, she said "a Zoroastrian named Vilma will ritualistically shave your testicles". There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.


I started UO on Sonoma with Pub 16.  Played there until the release of AoS and was less than excited about the changes.  Collected a bunch of golden skulls for Doom with a glitch that let you collect the 1K bones once, then kill the bone daemon over and over for a skull each time.  Got bored and moved to Siege, where the men were men and UO was still UO.

Had fun attacking the ORCs, a PC guild that wore orc masks and lived at the Orc fort by Yew.  Learned to PvP against them.  They were a good bunch, had good teamwork to cover up the limitations imposed by their RP.  I'd tame up 5 timberwolves then run in, attack, die, repeat.  AoS made its delayed appearance to Siege and everything changed, but I stayed there.

Spent the next few years evolving from that laughable little newbie to a solo force to be reckoned with.  I had friends and shifting alliances, but it always came back to me against the world.  When it wasn't, I'd make it so.  I invented the self-dismount/lance-dismount/remount macro (yeah, I'm sure lots of people did, but I did it first on Siege).

I'd love nothing more than seeing 5 faction guys standing around, pick one and run in, dismount myself and them, cast holy light to get pet aggro, remount, equiplast to a poison dagger, kill their mount, and be running away before anybody had a clue what was going on with 4 pissed off guys on my ass.  It was exactly that sort of thing that made them put a timer on remounting after dismounting another person.  4 guys on my ass now?  Well, let's head to a guard zone.  Sure, your poison strike can legally hit me, but if I time it perfectly and dismount as it hits?  Now you've hit my blue mount with an AoE spell and committed a crime.  GUARDS!  3 on 1.

By now they're pissed off enough to follow me to hell and back, so lets dance in the solven hives.  I'm their friend and they love me.  Run, run, run, stop and fight near a solen warrior.  Spit, stab, slash, let's all dance in the acid.  To the dread spiders!  Enemies, chaos, fun, stab slash, wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

I die, they die, who even cares.  The important thing is that one stood against many and made his name known.  The next time those 5 see me, they will KNOW me.  Their friends will KNOW me.  All that saw five fighting one will know the one, who will know the five?

(Disclaimer:  The above was a composite memory illustrating a process and not intended to imply any skillz of varying madness)

Everyone in our little virtual world knew me, whether it was love or hate, and I loved that goddamn rush.

Then time happened.

I got old.  Life called for my attention.  I drifted away from UO.  Got married.  Had kids.  Got older.

Reactivated the old account.  It's not the same, but what is?  You can never go back.  I'm screwing around with PvM now, I don't have the time to hone my mind into the form needed to once again be a perfectly crafted killing machine.

If I had to summarize, I think I would say thank UO for being a friend.  Travel down the road and back again. Your heart is true, you're a pal and a confidant. And if you threw a party, invited everyone you knew, you would see the biggest gift would be from me and the card attached would say, thank you for being a friend.

I also quote *bleep* inappropriately.

Offline Paulonius

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Re: Hi. This is an intro. Because I have to. Now, love me.
« Reply #4 on: May 09, 2014, 08:15:55 AM »
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Love the Austin Powers reference. Nicely done. Welcome to Script UO Dr. Evil
This coin declares Caesar is "Dictator for Life." He did serve as Dictator for the remainder of his life, but his life would end only a few weeks after this issue. For Caesar to put his image on coins and essentially declare himself king was too much for Brutus and his republican allies.

"If everything seems under control, you're not going fast enough'
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"If everyone is thinking alike, someone isn't thinking."
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Offline TrailMyx

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Re: Hi. This is an intro. Because I have to. Now, love me.
« Reply #5 on: May 09, 2014, 09:48:27 AM »
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But if you insist, I will tell you a little bit about myself.

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.


My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, born and raised. Luge lessons were where I spent most of my days. When I was chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool  I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve a couple of guys who were up to no good started making trouble in my neighbourhood. At the age of fourteen I got in one little fight and my mom got scared, she said "a Zoroastrian named Vilma will ritualistically shave your testicles". There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.
Interesting life!  If real, my condolences (aside from the shorn scrotum - It *is* luscious!).  If deliberate fiction, thanks for that; I needed a good crying laugh for the day!

you would see the biggest gift would be from me and the card attached would say, thank you for being a friend.


I totally agree with this.  I played many games back in 1997, and none of those I own any longer.  Though I did just buy the "refreshed/modernized" version of Baulder's Gate from Steam.

Thanks for taking the time to entertain and introduce!  I'd love to hear some more of your stories regarding exploitative conquests.
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Offline Paulonius

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Re: Hi. This is an intro. Because I have to. Now, love me.
« Reply #6 on: May 09, 2014, 10:08:00 AM »
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But if you insist, I will tell you a little bit about myself.

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.


My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, born and raised. Luge lessons were where I spent most of my days. When I was chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool  I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve a couple of guys who were up to no good started making trouble in my neighbourhood. At the age of fourteen I got in one little fight and my mom got scared, she said "a Zoroastrian named Vilma will ritualistically shave your testicles". There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.
Interesting life!  If real, my condolences (aside from the shorn scrotum - It *is* luscious!).  If deliberate fiction, thanks for that; I needed a good crying laugh for the day!




That's Dr. Evil opening up in "group". Classic.



This coin declares Caesar is "Dictator for Life." He did serve as Dictator for the remainder of his life, but his life would end only a few weeks after this issue. For Caesar to put his image on coins and essentially declare himself king was too much for Brutus and his republican allies.

"If everything seems under control, you're not going fast enough'
-Mario Andretti

"If everyone is thinking alike, someone isn't thinking."
- General George Patton Jr

Offline TrailMyx

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Re: Hi. This is an intro. Because I have to. Now, love me.
« Reply #7 on: May 09, 2014, 10:32:13 AM »
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Ahhhh, that's why it was so darn familiar!   The shorn scrotum should have jarred my memory.  lol
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Offline FluwtonTopic starter

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Re: Hi. This is an intro. Because I have to. Now, love me.
« Reply #8 on: May 09, 2014, 11:16:22 AM »
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As mentioned, I tend to quote things rather heavily, regardless of the amount of sense the result makes.  As if I were only capable of communicating through metaphor....

It provides an outlet for the portion of my brain that never truly shuts the hell up.



Don't have time to get into many war stories right now at work, but a classic tactic of mine comes to mind....

Riding my fully trained giant blue beetle, no minimum taming required to ride.  War fork equipped.  Human, so JoaT gives me 20 in every skill.

Run between two houses that are 1 tile apart and attempt to hide when it breaks LoS.  If successful, just wait.  Pursuer comes behind you, pushes past, notices you're hidden and stops to investigate.  They are now less than full stamina.

Dismount myself, toggle the disarm special on my war fork, and holy light as I push past them.  My AoE attack will hit, trigger my melee attack, and disarm them.  All kill, have my 125 dex gm wrestling/tactics/anatomy beetle start tearing into them while I switch to a poison dagger, apply lethal poison, and just generally start hurting them.

They are then pinched on every side by two houses, me (having pushed past them), and my beetle still on the original side.  They are disarmed, don't have enough stamina to push past me or my beetle, and are not long for this world.  A Divine Fury or Total Refresh pot are all that could possibly save them, but I don't recall anybody ever realizing the problem and solution in time.

It relies on successfully hiding with 20 skill and your target not continuing to run out of the alley, but incredibly deadly once in place.

Offline gimlet

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Re: Hi. This is an intro. Because I have to. Now, love me.
« Reply #9 on: May 09, 2014, 11:20:38 AM »
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Welcome!

Offline FluwtonTopic starter

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Re: Hi. This is an intro. Because I have to. Now, love me.
« Reply #10 on: May 09, 2014, 11:25:56 AM »
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My god, it's so big!
And blue!

...And welcoming.

Offline TrailMyx

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Re: Hi. This is an intro. Because I have to. Now, love me.
« Reply #11 on: May 09, 2014, 11:28:43 AM »
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Gimlet is very welcoming.  I'm not certain about how blue he is.

My crystal ball is rusty (yes, an odd sort of crystal) but you guys should have a PM conversation.  ;)
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Offline FluwtonTopic starter

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Re: Hi. This is an intro. Because I have to. Now, love me.
« Reply #12 on: May 09, 2014, 11:41:09 AM »
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Gimlet is very welcoming.  you guys should have a PM conversation.  ;)
Alright...  Just don't tell my wife.

*puts on his robe and wizard hat*

Offline chirker

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Re: Hi. This is an intro. Because I have to. Now, love me.
« Reply #13 on: May 09, 2014, 01:47:23 PM »
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Excellent Intro, Welcome !!

Offline SolidSnake

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Re: Hi. This is an intro. Because I have to. Now, love me.
« Reply #14 on: May 11, 2014, 02:57:34 PM »
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Wow... when asked you DELIVER!!
Welcome :)

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