It was definitely a gratuitious dig. Even if he was legitimately afraid that you would smash all of his furniture saying it to you was about hurting your feelings, not protecting his stuff. I think when relations feel the need to take a shot at you like that it's generally because they have some insecurity. Maybe this guy feels threatened by you, or he wishes he had a close relationship with his daughter and is envious that you have a rapport with her that he will never have. He probably feels like crap that he was not a bigger part of her life. I am not making excuses for him, just trying to come up with some explanations that might help you let it go. I think its hard to ignore someone being an effing D-bag unless you can try to understand them a little. That said, some people are just snake-mean or so broken that they can't be reached. However, most people who act like this are being pre-emptive -- lashing out at you because they expect you to be critical of them.
I can't take credit for being able to do this myself, but I see a solution to it every time I go home. One of my four sisters is really insecure around my wife. We grew up with little in the way of social skills in my family. My parents still can't remember to ask any of their nine kids anything about their lives when they see them. My sister didn't get very far beyond my parents' skill set, so that coupled with the insecurity explains why she lashes out at my wife in some way every time we see her. My wife smiles at her and asks her how her daughter is doing in school, how her job is going, comments on her new hairstyle. (OK, I made that one up, my sister has had the same hair since we were kids, but you get the idea). As a result, my family generally likes my wife better than they like me. That one sister still has issues, probably because everyone else likes my wife so much now... but it is what it is.
My sister doesn't deserve to have my wife be nice to her any more than my wife deserves to take it on the chin every time she sees my sister -- and I don't imagine you think this guy deserves for you to be nice to him. But, its a really nice gift she gives me. If you can imagine doing something similar, think how nice it will be for your wife if this conflict just went away. Might be easier for you than you think.
