I feel this warfork will be important in the next round of changes.  It really needs a hit spell or splintering weapon, but this sort of weapon will wreck people.

First, here's the system I'm considering:  http://www.digitaltrends.com/computing/dell-updates-xps-13-with-1080p-display/

I used to build my own desktop rigs.  Then, I decided I wanted a laptop that could also handle heavy gaming and bought a tricked out XPS laptop back in 2007.  It still runs everything just fine today, including Starcraft II, but the graphic card is notorious for getting hot and melting solders.  The system is pretty old and wieghs a metric ton...so...maybe time for a new one.

These days, I don't follow anything about computer components and wouldn't have the time to get smart on all the tech options out there.  That means buying off-the-shelf again.

Anyone know anything about ultrabooks?  Mostly, can I run UO on them and possible VMware?  I'm not looking to spend too much and I don't want a desktop rig.

So...what is up with this staff?  Pretty interesting, undoubtedly useless.  Still, very nicely themed weapon.

Sometimes, the loot system is just elegant.  Pity it is lacking a spiffy "Arcane Stick of Thumping" moniker.

Lesser.  LESSER?!

It is getting to the point where I have 30% SSI on all my suits before you even factor in the weapon itself or my stamina.

If you're looking for tremendous excitement and challenge, look elsewhere.  If, however, you want a fairly low-stress chance at the new Despise artifacts then you've come to the right place.

Walkthru:

A) Go read uoguide's Despise page.  Seriously.  
B) Get two friends or two additional accounts.  Have stealth.  Have magery and a ton of MR.
C) Go to the evil side of Despise.  Grab yourself at least three different monsters, one on each account.  I recommend:  Darkmane, Echinite and Phantom for the discord.
D) While still on the evil side, start letting your new friend kill other evil stuff.  You need to avoid other players until your fresh tame turns blue from the karma increase.  Most people aren't smart enough yet to know that you can keep your pet from attacking someone else's grey fresh tame with the wisp control token.
E) When your tame reaches about level 9, you ought to be able to park your pet in one spawn spot and just ignore it until it hits the max level of 15.  Go work on the other two tames while you wait.
F) Park your level 15 pet on the good side while you wait, just in case something remarkably bad happens while you're not paying attention.
G) When all three pets are level 15, use the wisp orb context menu to conscript them.  
**Important:  Make certain that you've conscripted all the pets.  I'd say do it twice, just in case.
**Equally important:  Do not conscript your pets until you can do all three at once.  You've been warned.
H) Stealth your way to the center island, killing the level 8s and 9s you encounter.  No sweat.
**IMPORTANT:  Do not bother with killing the wisp.  Time your approach so you get the actual boss.  The wisp just respawns when you kill it.
I) Stealth your Echinite toward the middle of the island first.  He is your tank.
J) Bring the other two up to join the battle.  Once you've confirmed that the Bad Guy and his little wisp friend are beating on your wolf, run the below snippet on each of three characters:

Stolen from EN:
set %heal_spell 28
set %heal_who [INSERT ID HERE]
set %cast_delay 60
Main:
gosub castit 15 %heal_spell %heal_who %cast_delay
wait 60
goto Main:
;-------------------------------------
; %1 = Event Macro Param 1
; %2 = Event Macro Param 2
; %3 = Target ID or NONE
; %4 = Spell Delay
sub castit
  if %3 = NONE
  {
    event macro %1 %2
    set %fcr ( #sCnt2 + %4 )
    return
  }
  finditem %3 G_8
  if #findkind = -1
    return
  set #ltargetID %3
  set #ltargetKind 1
  event macro %1 %2
  target
  event macro 22 0
  set %fcr ( #sCnt2 + %4 )
return

K) Loot.

I haven't had a chance to do this more than once yet.  I used Darkmane, Echinite and Naba.  The Naba is the spellcaster, and seemed to always be out of mana.  I'd really recommend either the discording Phantom or the healing Promethiod.  I was never able to get a Promethiod high enough - they die a lot - so I went with a convenient Naba instead.

No artifacts, but a pile of non-cursed new loot system Artifacts to sort through.  Many were cursed, but a number were not.  No idea if luck played a role, but I had only 100.  Next time, I'll try it with luck.

Let me know if you have questions.

Enjoy!

EDITS:  Between J) and K), you'll need a book.  
When I say "a ton of MR" I mean: "A character that can cast one GHeal every 6 seconds without ever running out of mana."  Very easy to do.

I don't care what you say, weapons like this should never have been put in the game.

(Not going to stop me from using them, though!  Nom nom nom)

Ok, so the winner of this contest may or may not receive anything at all. 

Anyone with a modicum of internet literacy and passing familiarity with current events should be able to identify this picture.  That's not the point.  The point is that the photo is perfect for a caption contest.

I determine the winner.  You'll get more credit for being creative than raunchy (I'm looking at you, manwinc).

Ready...set...GO!