ScriptUO
General => Off Topic => Topic started by: Cerveza on April 28, 2010, 10:23:08 AM
-
The commanding officer of a wing in the U. S. Air Force was about to start the morning briefing to his staff, flight and squadron commanders.
While waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brewing, the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled.
He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep. He posed the question of just how much of sex was 'work' and how much of it was 'pleasure?' The executive officer chimed in with 75-25% in favor of work.
A captain said it was 50-50%.
The colonel's aide responded with 25-75% in favor of pleasure, depending on his state of inebriation at the time.
There being no consensus, the colonel turned to the airman (one striper) who was in charge of making the coffee. The colonel asked what was HIS opinion?
Without any hesitation, the young airman responded, "Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure."
The colonel was surprised and, as you might guess, asked why?
"Well, sir, "if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them."
The room fell silent.
-
Being an air force vet, let me tell you about my favorite write up by a pilot.
An F-4 comes back from a training flight, pilot writes ale-40 chafe and flare dispenser does not work in official mode (off).
My repair procedure, remove and replace stick actuator (pilot).
;)
-
Hey Cerveza, did not know you were here too!
Boy do I have some officer stories. All as true as yours! My favorite discrepancy on an airplane was when a pilot cam in storming mad. He said he his FLIR (forward looking infrared) pod was not working. This pod is 10 feet long, weighs 950 pounds. We went out to check. There was no pod on the aircraft!!!!
We signed off the discrepancy as " Removed pilot's head from rectum, system checks good".
Maybe there is a reason I never got higher than E-6 lol.
-
Can't trust those officers...wait...
-
I had an officer in the line company (USMC) I was in that carried around and quoted your normal "war movies" like Full Metal Jacket, Apocalypse Now, ect. Guy was a total tool, but at least we had something to joke about while field daying rooms for hours on end or doing some retarded field exercise that although might be remotely possible to happen, you wouldn't confront the enemy like that. One time one of the *bleep* bag marines lost a laptop and had ran to the officer saying someone had stole it. He called a formation in the middle of a saturday and started his whole spill with a quote from The tears of the sun. Pretty gay.
Good jokes, I got a laugh out of it.