ScriptUO

General => Off Topic => Jokes! => Topic started by: gimlet on July 19, 2011, 04:37:19 PM

Title: The Dominate Male
Post by: gimlet on July 19, 2011, 04:37:19 PM

A husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, You Can Be The Man Of Your House.   

Finding new courage that he never knew he had, he stormed into the kitchen and announced to his wife, "From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is the 'Law.'

You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, bring it to me, and when I am done eating my meal, you will clear the dishes and serve me a

scrumptious dessert. After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will make love the way I want!

Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will put on soothing music, wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. You will massage my feet and hands to relieve any last bit of tension so that I can sleep like a baby. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"

The wife replied, "The damn funeral director would be my first guess, unless I have your ass cremated."

Title: Re: The Dominate Male
Post by: Masscre on July 19, 2011, 05:03:04 PM

LOL. I also seen that one from a mile away :)

Title: Re: The Dominate Male
Post by: Canuker on July 19, 2011, 06:03:40 PM

I could see my wife telling me that.... >:(

Title: Re: The Dominate Male
Post by: cutter on July 19, 2011, 10:57:38 PM

what do you mean? you all don't get that kinda service everyday? LOL

Title: Re: The Dominate Male
Post by: Masscre on July 20, 2011, 05:31:22 AM

I used to get that kind of service, the first couple of years we where married. Now I only the meal prepared and on the table (hot mind you) when I sit down and on special occasions I also get the desert. The rest kinda fell by the wayside.

Title: Re: The Dominate Male
Post by: manwinc on July 21, 2011, 10:21:08 AM

I've had it backwards all these years...... where do I find a woman to take care of me instead of the other way around.....

Title: Re: The Dominate Male
Post by: Outlaw Josey Wales on August 01, 2011, 11:18:45 AM

wait till your bed riden and not abel to wipe your on ass and you wife comes up behind you pulls down on the rubber glove and says roll over so we can get this over with then  cleans you up but along the way she decides to try to give you proctal exam to get back at you for anything u ever did to her not fun man not fun.  Don t make the mistake of trying to say anything funny to her or mess with her in any way while shes cleaning you cause then she realy makes it hurt while wiping your ass.  I lay here half the day praying i ain t got take *bleep*