ScriptUO

General => Off Topic => Jokes! => Topic started by: Cerveza on August 17, 2011, 11:33:26 AM

Title: U.S. RECESSION!
Post by: Cerveza on August 17, 2011, 11:33:26 AM

The recession has hit everybody really hard...
   
My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
   
Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.
   
CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
   
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
   
A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
   
I saw a Mormon with only one wife.
   
If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
   
McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
   
Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
   
Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.
   
My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it and they re-possessed her!
   
A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
   
A picture is now only worth 200 words.
   
When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
   
And finally...... 

 

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

Title: Re: U.S. RECESSION!
Post by: Canuker on August 17, 2011, 11:39:05 AM

Win

Title: Re: U.S. RECESSION!
Post by: MeWonUo on August 17, 2011, 11:53:51 AM

Kinda sad how on point some of those are. :D

Title: Re: U.S. RECESSION!
Post by: Crome969 on August 17, 2011, 01:43:53 PM

First i thought "WTF i mising here?" then i saw "Ah okay Jokes" lol..

Title: Re: U.S. RECESSION!
Post by: gimlet on August 17, 2011, 08:26:12 PM

My favorite
"My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it and they re-possessed her!"

Title: Re: U.S. RECESSION!
Post by: Goliath on August 18, 2011, 04:39:56 AM

This one made me laugh out loud at work!

"My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail."