The recession has hit everybody really hard...
   
My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
   
Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.
   
CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
   
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
   
A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
   
I saw a Mormon with only one wife.
   
If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
   
McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
   
Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
   
Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.
   
My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it and they re-possessed her!
   
A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
   
A picture is now only worth 200 words.
   
When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
   
And finally......  
 
The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.