So, to put an end to this story:
We just finished a move to Virginia from Cali. Hooked up cox, since the property is completely surrounded by tall trees that preclude any satellite line-of-sight. My old wireless n router that my previous ISP claimed was the problem (built in 2008) is delivering 35MBps download without a hitch. Gee, I guess the old company was lying to me about throttling...
I fing hate ISPs.