I grabbed this off a website somewhere a while back and just ran across it on my computer this morning. I don't recall where I got it, so if I copied it from someone here I apologize. I think this makes some very valid points and was worth sharing...
Yes, I Guess I am an American
I like big cars, big boats, big houses, and naturally - big tits.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some
mid-level governmental functionary with a bad comb-over who wants
to give it away to crack addicts squirting out babies. I don't care about
appearing compassionate.
I think playing with toy guns doesn't make you a killer.
I believe it's called the Boy Scouts for a reason.
I think I'm doing better than the homeless.
I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized.
I have the right not to be tolerant of others because they are different,
weird or piss me off.
I don't celebrate Kwanzaa. But if you want to that's fine; just don't feel
like everyone else should have to.
I believe that if you are selling me a Dairy queen shake, pack of cigarettes,
or hotel room you should do it in English.
As of matter of fact, if you are an American citizen you should speak English.
My father and grandfather shouldn't have to die in vain so you can leave the
countries you were born in to come disrespect ours.
I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running
from them after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand the word
freeze or stop in English, See the previous line.
I know what the definition of lying is.
I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you
qualify for any special loan programs, gov't sponsored bank loans,
etc., so you can you can open a hotel, c-store, trinket shop, or any damn thing else.
I want them to bring back safe and sane fireworks.
I believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osbourne, Ice-T
or Marilyn Manson sang, but that doesn't mean I want to listen to
that crap from someone else's car when I'm stopped at a red light. But I respect your right to.
I don't want to eat or drink anything with the words light,
Lite, or fat-free on the package.
I don't hate the rich.
I don't pity the poor.
I know wrestling is fake.
I've never owned or was a slave, and a large percentage or our forefathers
weren't wealthy enough to own one either.
I think you can respect and admire women while mentally undressing them.
I believe a self-righteous liberal with a cause is more dangerous than
a Hell's Angel with an attitude.
I want to know which church is it exactly where the "Rev." Jesse Jackson
preaches; and besides what exactly is his job function.
I don't care where Ellen puts her tongue.
I own a gun, you can own a gun, and any red blooded American should
be allowed to own a gun, but if you use it in a crime then you will
serve the time. A rubber band and a paper clip is a
dangerous weapon in the hands of someone with malicious intent.
I worry about dying before I get even.
I didn't take the initiative in inventing the Internet.
I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and
continue to make more. If it pisses you off, invent the next
operating system that's better and put your name on the building.
I don't believe in hate crime legislation. Even suggesting it
pisses me off. You're telling me that someone who is a minority, gay, disabled, another nationality, or otherwise different from the
mainstream of this country has more value as a human being that
I do as a white male. Hell, if someone kills anyone, I'd say that it's a hate crime.
We don't need more laws! Let's enforce the ones we already have.
I think turkey bacon, turkey beef, and turkey fake anything sucks.
I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes a parent with the balls to stand up to the kid and spank his ass and say "NO".
I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement.
I'll admit that the only movies that ever made me cry were Ole Yeller and Lonesome Dove.
I didn't realize Dr. Seuss was a genius until I had a kid.
I will not be frowned upon or be looked down upon or be made to keep silent because I have these beliefs and opinions.
I thought this country allowed me that right I will not conform or compromise just to keep from hurting somebody's feelings.
I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise.
I'm an American!
